Welcome to my Whole 30 blog!
If for whatever reason you stumbled across this blog and are all, “What the hell is Whole 30?!”, I’ll try to explain it very quickly: it’s a 30 day nutritional re-set/elimination program that helps you identify foods that cause you health issues, both mental and physical. That’s about as concise as I can be. To learn more, please PLEASE follow this link to read more, because it really is a very educational, enlightening program.
I’ve done one complete Whole 30 in January of 2012 and started a few others that ended early with my face in a gallon of ice cream and a stream of lame excuses. So OFFICIALLY, this is my second Whole 30. I know I’ll complete the full 30 days. Why? Well, it’s different this time. You’ll just have to believe me on that for now, m’kay? My motives are different. I FEEL different. I’m ready this time. I wasn’t ready when I had those failed attempts.
The catalyst for this go around is that 2 weeks ago I had heart surgery. For the record, no, I’m not a 64 year old fat guy. (No offense if you are.) Actually, I’m an otherwise healthy 37 year old chick with a wickedly foul mouth who seems much younger but happens to have a fucked up heart rhythm and (had) a fucked up Mitral Valve. So two weeks ago they made a 5 inch incision under my right boob, separated some ribs, cut into my heart and fixed that damn leaky valve. (Yes, it still hurts, yes I’m on drugs, yes, I’m STOKED they didn’t crack open my sternum and fuck up my BEAUTIFUL cleavage.)
But listen. This blog isn’t about that. My point is, ain’t nothin’ like some heart surgery to make you want to stop eating crap so your body can focus all its energy on healing, know what I mean? Not feeding it a ton of hard to digest grains, legumes and dairy just seems…smart right now. Oh crap, I think that means I’m growing up.
In the months prior to the surgery, my heart issues got in the way of working out. I’m not saying that (entirely) as an excuse, it’s (mostly) true. My rhythm would go all fucked up and super fast which would cause my leaky valve to leak worse which would cause it to hurt, and, well hell, you wouldn’t keep jogging either. So that coupled with too many dietary cheats meant I put on some pounds. I wasn’t weighing myself during that time so I don’t know how many, but I know it was between 5 and 10. More than I’d like but not so many that I can’t get it under control fairly easily.
Listen. I have a closet full of awesome dresses I paid a shit load of money for over the years. Gotta keep those fitting, right?
See what I mean? It’s the perfect time for a Whole 30. I’m more motivated than ever, PLUS, I already have two weeks of no sugar and no grains/legumes/alcohol under my belt because my appetite got obliterated by the surgery and even I’m not Irish enough to drink booze right after heart surgery. In the days directly following, all I could stomach was fruit and yogurt, so that’s why I don’t consider myself to have accidentally had two weeks of W30 already. That yogurt. (Oh. I guess there was probably sugar in that. Whatever. When I say I had “no sugar” for those two weeks I mean I had no INTENTIONAL sugar, like, via gluten free cookies or ice cream or candy or all the things I love so much. 🙂 )
Which leads me to what I want to talk about next in this long, rambling introduction post. My goals for this Whole 30. Goals, people. We need goals. More than just “I want to make sure my pretty dresses fit.”
I’ll admit that I’m a sugar addict. No question. I learned that VERY clearly during my first W30. I also learned, and continue to learn, that sugar just begets more sugar. The more I have of it, the more I want of it. It’s awful. It truly is a drug. So…
Goal Numero Uno: KILL THE SUGAR DRAGON.
Now, the thing about that fucker is, you really can’t kill it forever unless you literally NEVER eat sugar ever again. Even then, excess fruit can bring it back. (How unfair is THAT?! Fruit!) But given the amount of “cheats” I’ve had in the last several months, it’s clear I need to go cold turkey and starve that beast because I truly cannot be trusted within 5 blocks of sugar. I don’t keep it in my house, but I’ll straight up get in the car and go find it when the cravings get out of hand. That’s just ridiculous and inexcusable. I’ve lost my privileges. At least for a month anyway.
I also know that I’m a stress-sugar-finder. (That’s a thing now. I just made it up.) Stress eater, really, but who stress-eats broccoli? I guess we’ll find out.
Goal Numero Dos: Drop some poundage, as previously stated.
That’s going to happen though, so I’m not even going to mention it again probably. It just HAPPENS on the Whole 30, I know that. Especially if you are exercising. The exercising will be a slow-go for me given the whole Just Had Heart Surgery thing but I’ll do what I can. I promise. My exercise goal is to get back to working out 5 days a week. I’m confident that by the end of the month I’ll be there. No problem.
Goal Numero Tres: Recalibrate my hunger signals/stop the stress-eating.
Part of the program is to aim for 3 full meals a day rather than 3 meals plus snacking and snacking and snacking. I’ve successfully done that in the past when I (for a while) did the leptin re-set, so I know I can get there again. Again, when you eliminate the things you’re most likely to stress-eat, that’s gotta be helpful. We’ll see.
Last time I did my Whole 30 I screwed it all up by relying too heavily (FAR too heavily) on Lara Bars. Any time I would have had a candy bar, I had a Lara Bar. (or 2) Totally missed the point of the whole fucking exercise, I know. But, I had a boyfriend at the time that annoyed the crap out of me, I was having migraines all the time, etc etc etc. Whatever. Excuses excuses. This time, none of that crap. Because… I have to do this with no nuts. I’m still not 100% sure if nuts are something that upset my stomach/digestion, so I’m going to do this all with no nuts and reintroduce them methodically just like everything else. SO, no nuts = no Lara Bars.
If you’re new to the W30 and you have a sugar/stress eating problem, I STRONGLY urge you to just pretend those things don’t exist. They are of NO benefit whatsoever and can really derail you. Trust me. I know from experience. I ate 4 in a row after a fight with my boyfriend during my last W30. Tell me how that is grasping the ideals of the program?! (I dumped that guy, btw. I’m good to go now! 🙂 )
Goal Numero Quatro: Really REALLY finally figure out what dairy does to me.
Last time I was not methodical in my reintroduction. This time I will be. I think even yogurt makes me uncomfortable and bloated but I’m not sure. I KNOW that all the delicious gluten free baked goods make me feel like crap so I really try to limit them as it is, but I’m still just not sure about dairy.
Goal Numero Cinco: Take a god damn probiotic every day.
WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER TO DO THAT?! What am I, 7?? Just fucking do it, jeez!
The only other major challenge I see during this are peaches. I love them with the passion of 5,000 suns and their season is short. So I reserve the right to eat two or three. Or seven. Teen. But then, I know from experience that too much fruit sets off my sugar cravings something fierce, so I know I’m not doing myself any favors if I do go crazy on them. I’ll just have to see. Because I’m NOT going to just let peach season go without making a dent in it and I’m not letting some “program” make me afraid of a sweet little innocent peach. I mean, come on.
Ok, there we go. That’s my intro. Day one is Thursday June 6. Bring on the meat, veggies and fruit!
Whole30Me 